he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
