It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
Randomize
