it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
Randomize
