he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
That's how pantless uber rides happen
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