Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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