all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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