dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
my poor anus
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
Randomize
