Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
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