Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Randomize
