Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
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