It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
Randomize
