Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
