I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
Randomize
