When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
Randomize
