i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
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