My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
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