I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Randomize
