My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
I have feelings that need drinking.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Randomize
