do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
Randomize
