So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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