butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
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