but the lizard people decide everything anyway
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize
