where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
This girl is more easily done than said...
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Randomize
