We should be called the Road Head Warriors
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
So many bounce houses so little time
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
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