hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
PANTIES FOUND
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