if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
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