Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
How does it feel to date your dad?
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
