I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
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