i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize