I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Randomize
