I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
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