Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
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