Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
Randomize
