thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
Randomize
