im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
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