Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain...
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
Randomize
