i don't plan on having that self control this summer
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
Randomize
