Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
Randomize
