i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
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