I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
