I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
apparently the secret to your success is patron
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
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