i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
Randomize
