maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
