I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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