his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Randomize
