You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
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