I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
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