My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize