Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
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