My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
I want to walk on stilts...naked
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
We're too hungover to prance.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
how does that bad decision feel?
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
