I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
