She's JV to your varsity
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Randomize
