i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
