Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
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