im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
Randomize
