it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Randomize
