I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
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