Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Randomize
