why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
Randomize
